Every Sunday, I cut off my cuticles with a razor and swallow them. I don’t eat anything else all week. Self-cannibalism taught me that I can live without food, and be happier then ever before!
Before self-cannibalism I was an overweight slob with no life prospects or savings; but with all the time and money I saved by not eating other things, I went on a Caribbean cruse and bought a mansion! You can too!
You may be shocked to know that most people spend at least 3 hours a day eating and 56% of their income on food. How ironic that they are all toiling away just to feed themselves, while I am eating my own skin and living in luxury!